Calling all Parents.......

who might read my blog and know of some good parenting tips.

Lately my son has really been giving us a run for our money. He constantly throws tantrums and flat out refuses to let us do anything for him, to him, with him, etc. It's really starting to bother me and I am feeling like such a bad Mother. I have a very quick temper with him and find myself yelling at him a lot. I know I am doing more harm than good. I hate feeling this bitterness and anger inside all the time. I just can't enjoy my son, enjoy my evenings, enjoy my life like I should these days. It's becoming a problem. I just don't seem to know how to handle him at all. I know I have to stop the yelling fits b/c I know they aren't working. They make me feel better for about half a second and then I immediately regret it. I have found myself on the verge of tears b/c I just don't know what to do.

I miss my sweet Logan. I know he's there b/c sometimes he is as sweet as can be. I see all these people I know who enjoy every minute of every day with their kids. Their kids seem happy all the time. And even if they're not, they aren't a fraction of angry as what Logan gets about anything and everything. It's just not fair. I find myself working incredibly hard to keep him happy or living in fear that at any moment it's going to start and then it's all over with.

Here is a list of things that upset him, make me mad, and wage war in our house:

1. Getting up in the morning
2. Diaper Changes
3. Getting undressed/dressed
4. Eating
5. Doing a breathing treatment
6. Getting in the car
7. Getting in the stroller
8. Brushing teeth
9. Getting medicine
10. Picking up or rather NOT picking up anything he has thrown or dropped on the floor...mostly his cup.
11. Going downstairs in the morning or coming upstairs at night. He just stands there and stands there. It takes forever to get him to come down or go up sometimes. I just don't have that kind of time to sit there and wait on him. I usually walk away but am immediately filled with panic that he will fall down the stairs. So we more often than we should pick him up and carry him due to lack of patience.
12. In a nutshell, anything and everything, that Logan does not want to do he throws a fit about. It's hard to take care of him b/c he won't let us do what we need to do. I in no way neglect my child. He just makes it near impossible to parent and take care of him the way we need to.

I am at my wits end and don't know where to turn next. I am afraid it's too late and he's been doing this so long now that it's just how it is. I know that is not true. I just don't know how to turn things around. I really want to enjoy my son and not miss out on all the fun everyone else is having with their kids.

A big thing we have done lately is refuse tv. I have been turning it off while he's watching if he won't do what I ask or is misbehaving. I have also taken away much of the tv he used to have. I don't feel like it's productive and makes it harder for him to listen. That is going pretty well. Time out flat out doesn't work. He won't stay in it, won't look at me when I am trying to tell him what he did wrong and why he is in there. Anything we try just makes him madder.

I know I have to start walking away, which I do, but it just doesn't stop. He will come out of time out after whining, I say one word to him, or do something he doesn't like, like breathe, and it starts all over again. I'd like to think that everyone has this problem but I know it's just not so. Yes, to some extent all kids have their moments. But Logan's life for a while now, has been one big moment.

I would never do anything to hurt Logan. That is not what this is about. Yes I yell and yes I swat his behind or leg but never physically abuse him in any way shape or form. Even I have my limits. I could never live with myself for doing anything to cause harm to my child or anyone else for that matter. I am just not that kind of person. I love him unconditionally. I just need some direction on how to control an out of control 22 month old.

Now don't get me wrong. We do have fun times. We do enjoy doing family things. We laugh, play, sing, read. We do all those things. It's just getting less and less enjoyable b/c of little man's temper. Granted, I have to say, he does get his temper from me. See I am definitely a bad influence. I think he is feeding off my anger and just acting like I do. I really need to change the way I discipline him for sure! Be more calm, understanding. When he doesn't respond or gets angrier is when I boil over. HELP Please!

Please feel free to comment.